Sunday 4 January 2009

The little boy left outside



Amjad was walking along the dull streets of the city borough, the sky was grey , he felt depressed . He passed by a house with loud, vibrant music coming out of it. He peered through the window , people were having a party , people dancing, people talking animatedly with drinks in their hands , beautiful girls, some serious, looking sophisticated, some rewarding the boys who were trying to entertain them with their appreciative smiles and laughter.

But Amjad hadn’t been invited …no-one ever invited him to parties like this , he was always an outsider ; he was poor , he wasn’t handsome , he had no powerful motorbike , no money,…he had nothing to offer , he didn’t even know how to talk about the things they liked to talk about ,….
He felt very lonely, very unwanted , unloved. He had never known his mother or his father ; he had no family ,no real friends …
He felt the loneliness and the insatisfaction within him ferment into envy , and the despair into anger ; anger that swelled into rage and hate ; anger that needed to be expressed somehow , to be noticed …
He picked up a stone and threw it with all his anger against a shop window full of expensive electronic equipment. The window smashed into a myriad of fragments, and a burglar alarm sent out a brain shattering electronic scream into the night .
Amjad’s anger turned into fear. He fled across the road blinded by panic.
Suddenly, a friendly voice called to him .He half saw , a familiar figure standing in a doorway, smiling down at him , it was Father Christmas ! His voice sounded mellow, gentle and reassuring. To Amjad’s surprise he didn’t reprimand him , but instead invited him to come in from the street into what seemed to be some kind of a store house. “I have a present for you”, said Father Christmas , “come with me” . He followed Father Christmas to the back of the store house , behind aisles of large boxes and bales . The atmosphere felt somehow very comforting , and he breathed in the reassuring the smells of wood and cloth, and cardboard packaging . Father Christmas had now sat down. His countenance seemed to be changing , he seemed much younger now , and yet still very wise , he felt like an older brother , grave , wise ,but with the freshness and the glow of joyous innocence of a little child . Father Christmas searched in his big bag of presents and took out a big red marble and placed in Anjad’s hand . As Anjad held it he could see it was more of a glowing dusty orange colour than exactly red, like the planet Mars, or like that amazing rock in the middle of Australia, called UlurĂº, he had seen photos of .









As he looked at it, it started to change; it seemed to have become translucent , almost transparent , and inside he saw an orange red flower , it had four petals and it was very beautiful , he stared at it in wonder for a long time .It had made him go kind of silent within and all his anxiety had left him. He felt happy. Father Chrismas looked at him affectionately and told him to keep it very carefully , to not lose it . “So long as you keep it with you and take care of it , I will always be with you when you call my name. And you will always feel happy” , he said to Amjad. “ But what is your name ?”, asked Amjad . “My real name is Shri Ganesha ." And as Amjad gazed at him , he thought his face now looked somehow like that of a kind , gentle , wise elephant ; knowlegeable , old and young and the same time .



"Now come with me , I want you to meet my Mother , who is your Mother too. If you only knew , She has been waiting for you.“ As Shri Ganesha uttered these last words, he remembered the lines of a song he had once written a long time ago :




...On a still silent forest night ,


Of the Lady of the Moon ,


And she said ,


” please come soon ,


for here I have your tune,


if you only knew ,


it is meant for you"











He followed Shri Ganesha through a passage and into another room also full of packages and boxes , and suddenly in the mist of everything he saw sitting before him a beautiful lady , she had a very motherly appearance , she reminded him somehow of the Mona Lisa, she seemed to have this kind of dignity and presence; she seemed Indian, but at the same time she seemed from no particular race or nation ; she gestured for him to come closer , she smiled at him and showed him her open hands cupped together . In them he could see many marbles like the one Shri Ganesha had just given him , but these were all the colours of the rainbow. They all glowed with a beautiful light ,which couldn’t be anything else than the light of love . As he approached the Lady, he felt tremendous love emanating from her ; he felt a deep awe , and at the same time her comforting love made it easy for him to approach her . She gave him the marbles and told him all his problems would be solved. As he took them he felt a tremendous coolness in his hands and somehow showering from the top of his head too, and suddenly he was enveloped in a state of deep love and bliss , and joy like he had never felt in all his life. He knelt down in gratitude and awe, and thanked the Lady , but no words seemed to come out of his mouth , they seemed to just flow silently from his heart. She smiled at him reassuringly again, and told him he was welcome, that is was her gift to him, and then added “ Now promise me you won’t get angry any more and not break any more things . I know life has not been very kind to you so far , but now you are reborn in My Love . Take care of these , don’t lose them ; whenever you need me, you can call me and I will be with you wherever you are .You will never be alone again .Now go, and enjoy your Self !“
“ What is your name ?” , asked Amjad shyly.
She smiled her beautiful smile so full of love, and said “I have many names , but you can just call me Mother. “